blah blah blah

Last night was good! I actually slept semi-normally. I went to bed around 9:30ish (I fell asleep watching Lord of the Rings) and I woke up after a little while to turn the lights off...but I slept until 2am and then I kind of slept/at least stayed in bed until now...it's almost 7! Hooray!

I didn't really do anything yesterday. I was going to see some friends, but it didn't work out. So I like went shopping for some shampoo and toothpaste and all that stuff, and then just basically hung out at home. And I was really hungry at dinner time, and I really just wanted to call someone and be like, "can I come over for dinner?"...but I can't just hop in my car, it takes time to get places here, like on a bus or walking...so I had pizza. There's this pizza place really close to my house (NOTE: the pizza is not like American pizza, but it's still good). So I got a pizza and ate some. It was good.

Today I'm going to a Georgian church and I'm supposed to basically lead worship. But I really don't know enough songs in Georgian. SO I might just choose songs that I know they know, and sing it in English and they can sing along in Georgian. Yup.

Okay, that's all for now. I'm kind of hungry, I'm going to eat breakfast. :-)

Jenni's Journeys #3

About my day today. Messed-up sleeping schedule. Boy's youth group. Knife throwing. Transition. Miss and Love you (if you're from America and you're watching this!). And I'll talk to you later. :-)

an update! I'm here in Georgia

Hello all! I have finally arrived in Georgia, after 22 hours of traveling! My departure was a lot different than the last time I went to Georgia (in June 2006). Back then I cried for for like 5 hours before I left for the airport, I cried all the way to the airport, I cried as I was going through the security checkpoint...and then experienced other things...like short layovers (=me totally stressed out, first time flying overseas alone!), lost baggage and so on (but God really showed that He was taking care of me!).

But this time, everything went really well. I had no problem saying goodbye, and no problems with baggage or boarding passes or layovers, and I was a lot more relaxed than when I flew to Georgia that last time. But I did have a new experience...when I was on the plane from San Francisco to Munich (11 hours) my legs and my feet started to swell! Eek! I guess it's sort of normal for some people, but it's never happened to me before. I can still feel that they are a little swollen, but I'm sure it will go down in the next couple of days!

As far as being back in Georgia...it's so strange, but not at the same time. It's like, it's still totally familiar to me (I'm staying at the same place I stayed before), but I can still tell that I went some time without being here. But...I don't know. It's feels like some crazy time paradox or something, but I'm sure when I sleep more and eat some food I will be able to sort out my brain a little better. :-)

I can tell that God is already stretching me! On the flight from Munich to Tbilisi, I really started questioning why I was going to Georgia, was I even supposed to go, and blah blah blah (spiritual hypochondriac stuff)...and I know that it's not quite over. I just can tell that I'm not going to get a break in growing and changing and being refined (which really is okay), and I hope that I'm able to receive it better this time. More quickly. Without less rebellion..you know!

So, please be praying for whatever you think needs to be prayed for, that I've mentioned here in this email or that the Holy Spirit has put on your heart. And please pray for our YWAM base here in Georgia. There are some new ministries starting, old ones changing, more organization being put into place...and a bunch of humans trying to work together and allow God to work through us!

I'd better go and start unpacking...or maybe sleep (it's 4:47am here!). Thank you for all of your prayers and encouraging words and support and love!

4 hours

So, I'm leaving TODAY. Still can't quite comprehend it. Had a great party last night, quite a few people came over, ate a lot of sweet things, stayed up really late. Woke up early to say goodbye to people going off to work, now finishing up some last minute things before we leave for the airport in like 4 hours.

So, goodbye America.

And to all my friends and family who live in America, I love you.

Jenni's Journeys #2

Not too much new info. View of my room's desolation (it's really not that bad). Reminder about the party! 2 DAYS.

i have anxiety...

...it's bizarre. when i graduated high school, all i wanted to do was get out of ephrata. now that i realize that i won't see it again for 2 years...all i want to do is stay.

but at the same time, i really want to go.

i have adrenaline pumping through my blood from excitement and from not-wanting-to-go-ness.

AND i'm drinking a grande coffee.

ha.

trying it out

Jenni's Journeys VIDEO #1

i am a bit of a spiritual hypochondriac

So, I've been hanging out in Ephrata and it's pretty cool! Last night me and a friend watched like 7 episodes of "House". It was pretty exciting. And tonight I cooked with my Mom. I'm having a good time.

Still walking down memory lane though. Yesterday I walked by the house I grew up in with my birth-mom. And last night my friend and I went to Walmart, and for about 3.5 seconds I really felt like I was in high school again...driving to Walmart at night listening to jazz music. That was pretty much my life then (sad, I know). And I'm having reminiscent feelings now too, as I'm sitting in my room and it's a little chilly due to fall either approaching or arriving (not sure which). It's good though.

I took a nap for like 5 hours today, and when I woke up I was convinced that it was Thursday morning. And then, when I realized that it wasn't, I wished really hard that it was. I'm not sure why, I just really wanted it to be Thursday morning.

I leave for Georgia in 6 days.

Crazy.

we blind ourselves

I feel so WEIRD. I'm packing now. It's actually pretty miraculous...I will have everything packed (for the most part, I might need to repack at the end) like 9 days before I leave! Crazy.

But, I just feel so weird. It's the:
packing-up-and-leaving,
reminiscing-but-wanting-to-get-rid-of-stuff,
wishing-that-you-hadn't-gotten-rid-of-some-things,
realizing-you're-moving-to-a-foreign-land,
hitting-reality-that-you-aren't-going-to-see-friends&family-for-a-while.
strange feeling.

I take so much for granted. People, relationships, time. And then when it comes down to the wire I wonder what I did that was worthwhile. I mean, I know there were worthwhile things...but there were definitely not-worthwhile things. Like, the record-breaking amount of time I spent on my computer. Hmm.

I don't know. I'm just so continually amazed at how we 1) blind ourselves/lose touch with reality, 2) fight/rebel for the things that hurt us the most, 3) think that this is all there is.

I'm guilty.

But, I'm really excited to go to Georgia. Starting to get a little nervous. A little sad. Feeling like it can't possibly happen for reals. But living (sometimes) in my far off dream land of Georgia.

Oh geeze...it's 4:50am and I haven't slept yet. I'm supposed to go to Ephrata today for church, but I don't think that I'm going to make it in time.

our GLORY

Jeremiah 2: 11 b-13, "...But My people have changed their Glory for what does not profit. Be astonished, O heavens, at this, and be horribly afraid; Be very desolate,' says the LORD. 'For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living waters, and hewn themselves cisterns--broken cisterns that can hold no water."

When I first read this this morning, I had like all of this stuff I wanted to say...but now I'm not sure. I think it really speaks for itself. It's such an incredible word-picture. We have forsaken God (the fountain of living waters) for other gods (cisterns, tanks-that don't produce water, and can hold no water). At least, that is my interpretation. If you have another, I would love to hear it!! You should read Jeremiah 2 and reflect via comments. :-) But yeah, I'm not sure all of the context and what Jeremiah is exactly describing, but it talks a lot about turning to other gods and the worthlessness of it all.

This is a good video that's kind of of related to that. Watch it and let me know what you think. Just to let you know, it gets a little intense toward the end.

LORD, please strengthen us (and hear the prayers of our hearts).

2 parts emotion

I really wanted to write in Georgian because I spent like 2 hours the other night trying to find a Georgian keyboard driver (I think that's what they're called) and finally did, and was pretty excited. But the only Georgian letter that will show up when I type here is the o. Oh well.

So, I'm leaving for Georgia in 2 weeks! I've got insane mixed emotions, but I can't talk about it too much more or I'm going to lose my mind (maybe not really, but that's kind of what it feels like). Today was like a trip down memory lane. I went to a lot of parts of town(s) that I haven't been to for a long time, and that I used to go to. Like places I used to hang out when I was in college, streets that I used to drive on very often with people, and stuff like that...and it was so strange. Part of me wished that I was back in those days, living those times. But most of me is really glad that my life is where it is now, even if transitions aren't easy. And I'm sure that's why part of me wanted to be where I was before...because I was settled, for the most part, and I didn't have to pack my entire life away into suitcases that are much to small (or I just have too much stuff...I believe the truth is found in the latter statement).

I've been really rebelling against God lately (...always?) and it's kind of ridiculous. Like, today I was having lunch with this wonderful lady and I was kind of having an emotional vomitting (pardon the vocabulary) session, and then I looked at her and was like, "You don't think I should be a missionary, huh? And you're probably thinking like, 'Why the heck did I support her?'", and she jokingly said, "I am thinking that..!" But I like totally took it irrationally and played the self-pity card. "Maybe I shouldn't be a missionary. Maybe God didn't really call me, maybe I just wanted to go..." and blah blah blah disgustingness. And the whole time I'm saying that stuff, I'm thinking, "Jenni, what the heck is wrong with you?". We talked at college group today about how a small spark sets a whole forest aflame (or something like that) and the tongue is a small thing that boasts great evils (or something like that...I'm not quoting the Bible directly because it's not in front of me right now). And it's so true.

And because of my rebelliousness I've been feeling like really unforgiven, and that's like not a good place to be. Doubting God's mercy (if I don't have that...then what do I have?). But God is greater than all of that, and greater than all of my whacked out feelings (which are at an all-time high, or nearly, because of EVERYTHING). He is bigger. He is bigger. He is bigger.

And I NEED Him. So much.

light camping

The LORD is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life, whom shall I fear?
When evil men advance,
When enemies attack,
Though war is breaking out,
Even then I will be confident.
The LORD is my light and salvation, whom shall I fear?

This is a psalm that I made into a song (I guess they already were songs), and I'm sort of trying to make a few songs out of different parts of it. So, here's part one. You can click on the link to go to my music page and listen if you'd like to!

Psalm 27 (part 1)

I'm "camping" right now. I use that word subjectively because I have electricity in my tent (which means a lamp and a computer), there's wireless internet all over the campground, I'm 15 steps away from bathrooms with running water and showers, and my parents are sleeping 10 feet away in an RV equipped with most things you'd have at home. So you know what I mean.

But hey, I'm not complaining.

A quick change of topic: I'm struggling with ME. I'm so focused on myself and my problems and struggles and weaknesses and worries, that I'm forgetting other people, and losing concern for them, and not be very actively loving. I don't want to be like that! Life is about relationships. It's not good how easy it is to get caught up in the constant race for more, and lose the right priorities. How many of you understand me?! LORD, please free me from myself.

I'll be here until Monday.

Oh, by the way: 21 days.

one-hundred

So, we made it back from our road trip just fine. We drove through all 3 states on Saturday (California, Oregon, Washington) and it was good to be home. It's good to be cold! While we were in Southern California, it reached the 100s each day... totally ridiculous man! But I really learned a lot about friendship and about myself. Stuff (attitudes) that I thought were gone out my character, flared up again. By the strength of God, I pushed through things I didn't want to push through. I had an adventure, which is exactly what I wanted...but maybe it didn't come in the form I was exactly expecting. Overall, it was a great trip and I'm so glad I had the opportunity to go. And yes, I still love them ... and I think they still love me. :-)

In other news: I've posted over 100 times! It just seems like a lot!

And in other other news: I leave for Georgia THIS month. I think it's kind of funny, before I went last time, I started counting down from like 55 days. And now I'm like, "oh I'm leaving soon...blah blah blah". But I'm really excited to go. And it's really hard to leave at the same time. I'm a little nervous--when I was leaving Georgia to come back to the States, I was really excited...and it was good for like a week, and then things started to get really rough and I wasn't so happy. And I don't want that to happen when I go to Georgia this time. I don't want to go and have my hopes disappointed. I guess that's why we should put our hope in the Lord, He will never disappoint us, I know it's true.

back to Washington

We're on our way back to Washington now!! We're going to try to drive for like 15 hours an make it back to Seattle by tomorrow night (or really early Sunday morning!)

We're staying with the Hargreaves (they used to live in Ephrata) in Ripon, CA..it's pretty cool!

Washington, here we come!

Woah, I just realized that each one of these sentences start with W.

Wow, that's unusual. :-)

The girls in San Francisco (I still haven't uploaded the newer pictures from Joel's camera...soon!)