Sunday, September 13, 2009

i'm so patriotic (to georgia, that is)

Well, I'm back!!!

The conference was pretty much AWESOME. There weren't 500 people there though, more like 300. But I was not as socially awkward as I had expected myself to be. The worship times were really quite incredible, God really revealed some new things (new to me) about worshiping Him. Before (and I guess it probably will still happen sometimes, I'm not completely transformed in my thinking yet, but in process...) if I had like some mistake that I'd made, or if I felt not so good, or a lot of different things, it was so hard for me to sing worship songs to God. Like really hard. Even after I repented of my sin or whatever it was, it took me quite a while to get back to feeling normal and being able to sing to God. But God really quite continually spoke to me about the fact that He doesn't change, no matter what I do/have done or what I'm feeling-- He is always the same and therefore He is always worthy to be praised. And He always loves me. His love for me does not go away even when I make mistakes, so I can really still sing about His love in the midst of my incorrect feelings of being unloved because of my mistakes.

Also had a great time just getting more connected with people in our organization-- ones that I'd met before and ones that I met for the first time. And pretty much I love my life and I love that I'm a part of an organization that I feel is really seeking to know God more than any organizational type thing. And out of relationship with God, everything else flows. It's so cool to see people up to like 70+ something years old, who have the same vision and ideas as me, who aren't all like "super holy", but confess that they are on the same path to getting to know Jesus. Old people that don't make me feel small. Old people that make me feel like I can actually do something and succeed in this life. I LOVE IT. (www.ywam.org)

I'm just continually amazed at how increasingly exciting my life has become once I really decided to give it to Jesus. I love it. I love it. I love it.

So, getting ready to go to Holland. This begins my last week of craziness in Georgia before I head out. I still don't have my plane ticket & 1000 euros that I need to have toward my school fee before I buy my plane ticket in my bank account yet although people have said it's on the way. What can I do?-- but Lord, you know what I need.

At this conference I became acquainted with a new song that I really really like a lot and feel like my heart will explode when I sing it (out of love and meaning, of course):


This is my prayer in the desert
When all that's within me feels dry
This is my prayer in my hunger and need
My God is the God who provides

This is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flame

CHORUS:
I will bring praise
I will bring praise
No weapon formed against me shall remain
I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory and He is here

This is my prayer in the battle
When triumph is still on its way
I am a conqueror and co-heir with Christ
So firm on His promise I'll stand

All of my life
In every season
You are still God
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I'm filled to be emptied again
The seed I've received I will sow


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