...that when you do a google search for "kartvelley", I am the only related thing that comes up?! It could be because I spelled it wrong (although spelling any Georgian in English is wrong)...but it's okay!
So, I know that I haven't been writing very deeply here. Maybe I'm trying to pretend like everything in my life is normal and fine (because I don't want to think about it), but I know that's not the right thing to do. SO here's a brief synopsis.
1) My good friend Maria is in the hospital in ICU with malaria. She went on a mission trip to Peru and got bit by a mosquito, and she's really sick now. She's getting better, but when they actually finally admitted her (at first they thought it was hepatitis, and it wasn't. And then they though it was just a UTI, but she was still sick and THEN they found out it was malaria) 75% of her blood was contaminated with the malaria, and she was like unconscious (that's what I heard). And now she's getting better, but she's on a ventilator and everything at the hospital in Bellingham.
2) I'm struggling a lot with trusting God right now, and believing Him. And America is the perfect place to remain numb and indifferent, or inactive. And I find that happening to me. So, I'm struggling and wrestling with God about lots of things, like suffering and the deity of Jesus and all of this stuff, and sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed (a lot of times) I just want to pretend like I'm not struggling, so I grab the computer (funny, I'm typing this on the computer now...) or I watch a movie, or I do something so that I don't have to think. And after a while, it's like I get lost in it all and lose touch with reality. And what I really need is to not pretend that I'm not struggling. I need to face it head on. I need to be living in reality. Maybe that doesn't make sense.
But there are good things that are happening.
I've got my return ticket to Georgia, and I'm leaving on the 25th of September. And I'm getting some opportunities to talk about Georgia and what I'm doing there, which is good.
And GOD is still with me and still loves me, even though I'm struggling. And I'm really grateful for that.
Wow, I probably sound crazy or something. It's just hard to condense weeks of thoughts into a brief summary. But I tried.
So, life it hard. But God is still here. Phew.
So, I know that I haven't been writing very deeply here. Maybe I'm trying to pretend like everything in my life is normal and fine (because I don't want to think about it), but I know that's not the right thing to do. SO here's a brief synopsis.
1) My good friend Maria is in the hospital in ICU with malaria. She went on a mission trip to Peru and got bit by a mosquito, and she's really sick now. She's getting better, but when they actually finally admitted her (at first they thought it was hepatitis, and it wasn't. And then they though it was just a UTI, but she was still sick and THEN they found out it was malaria) 75% of her blood was contaminated with the malaria, and she was like unconscious (that's what I heard). And now she's getting better, but she's on a ventilator and everything at the hospital in Bellingham.
2) I'm struggling a lot with trusting God right now, and believing Him. And America is the perfect place to remain numb and indifferent, or inactive. And I find that happening to me. So, I'm struggling and wrestling with God about lots of things, like suffering and the deity of Jesus and all of this stuff, and sometimes I'm just so overwhelmed (a lot of times) I just want to pretend like I'm not struggling, so I grab the computer (funny, I'm typing this on the computer now...) or I watch a movie, or I do something so that I don't have to think. And after a while, it's like I get lost in it all and lose touch with reality. And what I really need is to not pretend that I'm not struggling. I need to face it head on. I need to be living in reality. Maybe that doesn't make sense.
But there are good things that are happening.
I've got my return ticket to Georgia, and I'm leaving on the 25th of September. And I'm getting some opportunities to talk about Georgia and what I'm doing there, which is good.
And GOD is still with me and still loves me, even though I'm struggling. And I'm really grateful for that.
Wow, I probably sound crazy or something. It's just hard to condense weeks of thoughts into a brief summary. But I tried.
So, life it hard. But God is still here. Phew.
1 comment:
"need to face it head on" ... "need to be living in reality"
Makes a lot of sense to me!
At times in life I have felt a lot of internal and external pressure to appear holy, appear in control, appear to conform, appear to be happy, appear to be thinking about things the 'right way' or the way everyone else seems to...
but I have been learning a lot just how much God prefers truth and honesty and reality
and that he loves to meet me where I am at, rather than where I feel I should be, or pretend to be
I guess he needs to take me back to what is true and real sometimes, however small in my life that might be, and build on that kind of rock, rather than on the fancy structures I may have built on sand
i dont find it comfortable though when stuff is stripped away, in fact it can be quite painful sometimes, but it feels healthier later :-)
so I say, well done to you for being honest with God! He loves it you know!
Am really jealous of you heading back to Sakartvelo in September! Really think you need to head there via the UK and attend a wedding on the 29th September! It would mean such a lot for you to come, we really really neeed you there!!!!!!
P
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