It's so funny. Maybe funny is not the right word, but I mean like, funny: strange-surprising-why-I-didn't-realize-it-then-but-now-totally-cool-and-exciting.
I remember when I was in, I think middle school or maybe early high school (so somewhere between the ages of 13-16ish) and I was at a Christian youth group. And I vaguely remember this feeling that I had that it was just too hard to become a committed Christian. To give everything up and live totally according to God's ways. I thought that meant like social DEATH. I thought I would be so constricted and prohibited and stuffed inside a box labeled, "good Christian"...and become inevitably, miserable.
It wasn't like I was plotting my wickedness, although it may not sound so innocent, but I was really just ignorant. I had the wrong idea of who God was.
This is all coming to my mind now because of what's happening in my relationship with God presently. God really is speaking to me and guiding me in my everyday things, I see that He is relevant and involved in every part of life (not just in church), I see that He cares and that He loves, I see that He created beauty and color and He wants to see it, I see that He is holy and He wants me to be like Him, I see that I can't do it on my own, but I see His helping hand/heart/voice/love that is comforting and encouraging and helps me to change. And I see that world view--the way we see the world and God and everything around and in us--is so incredibly important. And that correcting our world view can change everything, for good.
I've come to a place in my life where I'm really trying to give everything to God and live according to His ways. And I can say that it has not led to social death or to a boxed-up miserable life as a "good Christian", like I thought before-- but I have found so much more than I ever imagined. And I love it.
But don't be fooled, it's not easy. And I'm no champion. But I'm trying and God is being who He is.
I remember when I was in, I think middle school or maybe early high school (so somewhere between the ages of 13-16ish) and I was at a Christian youth group. And I vaguely remember this feeling that I had that it was just too hard to become a committed Christian. To give everything up and live totally according to God's ways. I thought that meant like social DEATH. I thought I would be so constricted and prohibited and stuffed inside a box labeled, "good Christian"...and become inevitably, miserable.
It wasn't like I was plotting my wickedness, although it may not sound so innocent, but I was really just ignorant. I had the wrong idea of who God was.
This is all coming to my mind now because of what's happening in my relationship with God presently. God really is speaking to me and guiding me in my everyday things, I see that He is relevant and involved in every part of life (not just in church), I see that He cares and that He loves, I see that He created beauty and color and He wants to see it, I see that He is holy and He wants me to be like Him, I see that I can't do it on my own, but I see His helping hand/heart/voice/love that is comforting and encouraging and helps me to change. And I see that world view--the way we see the world and God and everything around and in us--is so incredibly important. And that correcting our world view can change everything, for good.
I've come to a place in my life where I'm really trying to give everything to God and live according to His ways. And I can say that it has not led to social death or to a boxed-up miserable life as a "good Christian", like I thought before-- but I have found so much more than I ever imagined. And I love it.
But don't be fooled, it's not easy. And I'm no champion. But I'm trying and God is being who He is.
