Wow, so much is happening and changing.. and sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed.
But you know, even though it's like harder following God.. it's so much better. I don't know how to explain it. Like before, in my life, when I was just kind of hanging out and nonchalantly acknowledging God, I was really quite miserable. Actually, incredibly miserable. BUT, I could do whatever I wanted (to an extent). Like, the conviction wasn't as strong, the responsibility wasn't as much. But I was miserable.
And now that I've really committed my life to serving God (I've told Him that I am committed to Him for the rest of my life regardless of how I feel or whatever, I belong to Him) and in a way it's harder. Because I can't always do what I want or feel like doing. And the conviction is a heck of a lot stronger, and sometimes nearly unbearable (at least until I confess it all or turn away from it or whatever). But I am so much happier. I mean, I don't wake up every day full of joy and rejoicing (maybe someday I will be able to), but I really have so much more joy.
AND I feel like I'm standing on solid ground. Really, I feel more whole. I know I've got a long way to go.. but the progress so far has been quite fulfilling.
So anyways.
I'm glad to be committed to serving God, even if I 'keep offering vain and perilous resistance'. I think I'm beginning to learn.
But you know, even though it's like harder following God.. it's so much better. I don't know how to explain it. Like before, in my life, when I was just kind of hanging out and nonchalantly acknowledging God, I was really quite miserable. Actually, incredibly miserable. BUT, I could do whatever I wanted (to an extent). Like, the conviction wasn't as strong, the responsibility wasn't as much. But I was miserable.
And now that I've really committed my life to serving God (I've told Him that I am committed to Him for the rest of my life regardless of how I feel or whatever, I belong to Him) and in a way it's harder. Because I can't always do what I want or feel like doing. And the conviction is a heck of a lot stronger, and sometimes nearly unbearable (at least until I confess it all or turn away from it or whatever). But I am so much happier. I mean, I don't wake up every day full of joy and rejoicing (maybe someday I will be able to), but I really have so much more joy.
AND I feel like I'm standing on solid ground. Really, I feel more whole. I know I've got a long way to go.. but the progress so far has been quite fulfilling.
So anyways.
I'm glad to be committed to serving God, even if I 'keep offering vain and perilous resistance'. I think I'm beginning to learn.
ACTS 26:14
And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice in the Hebrew tongue saying to me, Saul, Saul, why do you continue to persecute Me [to harass and trouble and molest Me]? It is dangerous and turns out badly for you to keep kicking against the goads [to keep offering vain and perilous resistance].
And when we had all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice in the Hebrew tongue saying to me, Saul, Saul, why do you continue to persecute Me [to harass and trouble and molest Me]? It is dangerous and turns out badly for you to keep kicking against the goads [to keep offering vain and perilous resistance].
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