To be honest, I'm feeling a little down and discouraged. I know that it won't take much to come out of that-- pretty much I just have to chose to trust God and His proven ways-- but for some reason I find a bit of comfort in feeling down? Maybe I should stop. I don't think it's worth it to feel a little good with the cost of having a crappy attitude borne out of it.
Sooo... we've been on this apartment search. We found a really great apartment 2 days ago, and we were planning to meet today to make the "contract" (this could be a real contract, but probably just a verbal agreement and financial transaction). But when we called this morning to see when we should meet, they said that they changed their mind. They already pretty much promised us this apartment, but they changed their mind. *Shock*
So, we began our apartment search again. This is not so easy, especially since we're looking for an apartment that can house 4 girls and 2 kids. And we are in Georgia, so when an apartment is listed as having "3 rooms", that often means: a bedroom, a smaller bedroom and a living room. Or sometimes there is a decent apartment, but there is a problem with the neighbors (one apartment was pretty good, but the downstairs neighbors are pretty particular about noise, and we have 2 little kids running around...). And plus, the agent who's been helping us the most-- he's a really great businessman, but also pushy and talks a lot and it's hard to make a decision because he's talking the whole time you're trying to think, and then trying to convince you about things that you know won't work. The last apartment we saw today was big enough, and cheap enough.. but like totally not finished. Not even wall paper. No heater. No stove. Cracks in the windows.
So I'm tired.
We're supposed to be out of the apartment we're in now, by the 15th. Of course we won't be homeless. If we can't find a place in time, there are some places we could stay temporarily... but it's just exhausting moving here and there and I think it's pretty hard for the kids too.
So these are my current worries...
I really know that God is in control and that this is easy for Him. But I feel totally overwhelmed and confused. What to choose, what to sacrifice (more money or less comfort), and it's just really difficult. I understand the concept of not worrying, just giving it up to God and trusting Him because the situation is already pretty impossible for me to figure out on my own... but putting that concept into action?... I want to continue to try.
In the meantime, my mood is irritable and my reactions quick. So I'm managing that, trying to prevent as much relational damage as possible.
Aii, this is life.
Sooo... we've been on this apartment search. We found a really great apartment 2 days ago, and we were planning to meet today to make the "contract" (this could be a real contract, but probably just a verbal agreement and financial transaction). But when we called this morning to see when we should meet, they said that they changed their mind. They already pretty much promised us this apartment, but they changed their mind. *Shock*
So, we began our apartment search again. This is not so easy, especially since we're looking for an apartment that can house 4 girls and 2 kids. And we are in Georgia, so when an apartment is listed as having "3 rooms", that often means: a bedroom, a smaller bedroom and a living room. Or sometimes there is a decent apartment, but there is a problem with the neighbors (one apartment was pretty good, but the downstairs neighbors are pretty particular about noise, and we have 2 little kids running around...). And plus, the agent who's been helping us the most-- he's a really great businessman, but also pushy and talks a lot and it's hard to make a decision because he's talking the whole time you're trying to think, and then trying to convince you about things that you know won't work. The last apartment we saw today was big enough, and cheap enough.. but like totally not finished. Not even wall paper. No heater. No stove. Cracks in the windows.
So I'm tired.
We're supposed to be out of the apartment we're in now, by the 15th. Of course we won't be homeless. If we can't find a place in time, there are some places we could stay temporarily... but it's just exhausting moving here and there and I think it's pretty hard for the kids too.
So these are my current worries...
I really know that God is in control and that this is easy for Him. But I feel totally overwhelmed and confused. What to choose, what to sacrifice (more money or less comfort), and it's just really difficult. I understand the concept of not worrying, just giving it up to God and trusting Him because the situation is already pretty impossible for me to figure out on my own... but putting that concept into action?... I want to continue to try.
In the meantime, my mood is irritable and my reactions quick. So I'm managing that, trying to prevent as much relational damage as possible.
Aii, this is life.
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