Tuesday, June 13, 2006

pre-trip commentary #8

I spent 4 days home in Ephrata, visiting my parents and shopping for some stuff for my trip. It's so strange to think that I won't be there for 9 months +. I don't know, this was the first time I visited since Christmas, so 6 months. But I always had the opportunity. When I'm in Georgia, I can't just be like "Oh, I think I'm going to go to Ephrata to visit my parents today." You know, it's strange. When I was in high school I seriously wanted nothing more than to get out of the house, to leave to a far-off land, and I didn't care all that much about seeing my parents. But now, I'm like really attached. We don't always get along, there are still some struggles, but I really do love them so much. That's something God has really done in my heart too, develop this real true love for them. I am going to miss my mom and dad a lot.

Another thing that was really weird was leaving today. I said goodbye to my Aunt Tootie (she's actually my mom's aunt, so like my great-aunt, but we still call her aunt. Get it?) and told her that I wouldn't be home for at least 9 months. She said, "I hope I'm still around when you get back" and I didn't think about it, but it really is totally a possibility that she could pass away. She's really old and frail and not in good health. We're not really close or anything, but it just hit me as I was driving away that I don't know if she knows Jesus. I haven't taken the time to sit down and talk to her about it. Part of me is afraid to, just because she's seen me in some of my worst times and I don't know how she'll react, and part of my just doesn't want to make the effort (I know, it's totally ridiculous). But that is all so not okay. I mean, I'm like going around the world to go share Jesus with people in Georgia, but yet there are people in my own family that I haven't shared with. What is that all about? I think I might write her a letter.

So, I am actually getting like uber excited to go. And the fact that I'm excited makes me excited. I've been so bogged down with details and worry that I've almost just not wanted to go, but now I'm like adrenaline pumping ready to go. I know I'll still cry and miss people and stuff, but at least I'm excited now.

I've started packing, sort of. You know, I praise God for this, but I'm really not too worried about things not fitting into my suitcase. I should be totally freaking out, but I just have peace that it will all work out, and I know it will. Which, is also a very exciting thing.

Dude, 8 days.

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