Two things.
I think God has either given me a die-hard stomach, or just like extra protection from sickness, because I can count the times that I've been like stomach-sick while living in Georgia on one hand. AND I drink water from the tap, and eat really local food. I just realized how great it is, and I really praise God for that.
And another. So I think my mid-life crisis wasn't really a mid-life crisis, just a lot of emotions gathered into one spot inside of me and it felt like it was too much to take. But I DID realize a few things this last week, and I'll share those thoughts with you:
COMMITMENT.
Although I've never been married, I've heard this example used many times. That when you're get married you go through a "lovey-dovey" stage. Everything is new and cute and nice. And then after a while (that time can vary I guess) you come to face the reality that you've committed yourself to this person for the rest of your life, with their faults and annoying habits and everything that you maybe weren't so aware of in the first stage. But then I believe, in the best cases, the husband and wife together work on it and through it and come out with a deeper love and understanding for each other. And I can say that me and Georgia are in this right now.
I think basically from the moment my feet touched Georgian soil, I was in love. I'm not sure how, or why exactly, or what inspired it, probably a lot of things, but it just happened. Now I've lived here for about 20 months and I can say that although I still love greatly, I'm beginning to be challenged with some things that weren't challenging before. Just in the culture, the traditions, the pseudo-persecution of being a technically protestant but preferably called "Biblical" Christian in an Orthodox Christian country, and the fact that I am still a foreigner and people can usually tell (although I've begun to blend in more than before) which always seems to leave me with the feeling that this is not quite my home, and etc. And when these things and more are realized and felt, I feel a little bit like running away. To America. Or just to another country to have that new love feeling that I had with Georgia before.
BUT, I'm committed to Georgia for this time in my life, and I can't just run away. I won't.
And this is definitely teaching me a lot.
Commitment, commitment, commitment.
I have the hope, that when these challenges are worked through a bit (could they all be worked through completely?), I will have a deeper love and understanding for this country that I'm choosing to live my life in and these people that I'm choosing to live my life with.
I think God has either given me a die-hard stomach, or just like extra protection from sickness, because I can count the times that I've been like stomach-sick while living in Georgia on one hand. AND I drink water from the tap, and eat really local food. I just realized how great it is, and I really praise God for that.
And another. So I think my mid-life crisis wasn't really a mid-life crisis, just a lot of emotions gathered into one spot inside of me and it felt like it was too much to take. But I DID realize a few things this last week, and I'll share those thoughts with you:
COMMITMENT.
Although I've never been married, I've heard this example used many times. That when you're get married you go through a "lovey-dovey" stage. Everything is new and cute and nice. And then after a while (that time can vary I guess) you come to face the reality that you've committed yourself to this person for the rest of your life, with their faults and annoying habits and everything that you maybe weren't so aware of in the first stage. But then I believe, in the best cases, the husband and wife together work on it and through it and come out with a deeper love and understanding for each other. And I can say that me and Georgia are in this right now.
I think basically from the moment my feet touched Georgian soil, I was in love. I'm not sure how, or why exactly, or what inspired it, probably a lot of things, but it just happened. Now I've lived here for about 20 months and I can say that although I still love greatly, I'm beginning to be challenged with some things that weren't challenging before. Just in the culture, the traditions, the pseudo-persecution of being a technically protestant but preferably called "Biblical" Christian in an Orthodox Christian country, and the fact that I am still a foreigner and people can usually tell (although I've begun to blend in more than before) which always seems to leave me with the feeling that this is not quite my home, and etc. And when these things and more are realized and felt, I feel a little bit like running away. To America. Or just to another country to have that new love feeling that I had with Georgia before.
BUT, I'm committed to Georgia for this time in my life, and I can't just run away. I won't.
And this is definitely teaching me a lot.
Commitment, commitment, commitment.
I have the hope, that when these challenges are worked through a bit (could they all be worked through completely?), I will have a deeper love and understanding for this country that I'm choosing to live my life in and these people that I'm choosing to live my life with.
7 comments:
You can do this Jenny! We are praying for you and love to hear about how it is going. Your commitment is inspiring!
Love Ya!
Rachel and Nathan
Love the thought that you are beyond infatuation with Georgia and are walking in the Father's heart for those whom He has called. Yup, this is really good blogging and I so appreciate your commitment and intentionality. Bless you, N
Chief Jen Bears:
I too went through similar feelings with Georgia. I really love the Khaketi, the Caucasus, and the culture of Georgia - the dance, the song, the costumes, the love of artistry. Unlike you, I have always had difficulty with the language. I struggled with Russian cyrrilic, only to try to face down the Georgian alphabet! Wow!
I know things are kind of falling into a rut following the near revolution last January, but your work in this country is extremely important. Sometimes, like a good friend, it is not our words - it is our just being there.
May God continue to bless you in your ministry with fellowship and friendship, and I pray the Holy Spirit is with you always.
Stephen
Good words Jeniko,
You are doing it, you are living out your dreams. Home is where you make it. God sent Abraham away from his people and land, but he made the wilderness his home and prospered there! Jesus left heaven for us, will we be willing to leave our place of comfort to reach the world? Yes we will! you are an example for us all.
Jen - You are amazing in your honesty and in your faith! I am do bless to hear of your growth and your spirit to commit even through the "growing pains." Love you HUGE! Barb
"Well done good and faithful servant!" Jesus
"I have great plans for you!" God
So Jen-bear,
What does the summer hold for you now that DTS is out? You may have already told everyone and I missed that blog.
How's the language acquisition?
Your thoughts sound like what missionaries go through...one foot in Georgia as your home and one foot in US as your home. Both and. Where's your identity in that inbetween place?! I know you'll make your own identity with purpose and meaning in Christ who had no place to lay His head.
I miss you and pray for you and Georgia every time I look at the painting I bought there. Sweet --Peggy
Wow Jenni! Your growth over the last 20 months is amazing. It's like watching a catapillar crawling along, moving into it's caccoon, and now finally a becomming a butterfly! What a beautiful blog and sentiment about first loves. Wonderfully written and straight from the heart. You reminded me of this verse:
"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." (Romans 12:2)
Keep up the transformation!
Love - Cristina
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