So, I guess I can write right now about some things.
Ending is a difficult thing to do. As our leaders put it, it's like leaving the fluffy white cloud of DTS and crashing back down to earth, the "real world". People aren't going to understand you when you talk about certain things. They're going to expect you to react in certain ways, even though you've changed...and it's all hard to handle.
Praise the Lord that I'm not going through that yet (since I'm still in Georgia), but I'm still dealing with it all. For the past 5 1/2 months I've had INTENSE activity and everything and I've shared my room with 2 of the coolest girls God created, and I had a schedule (AKA structure...I like...!) and yeah. But now, those things are like gone. Well, in a sense.
I did a pretty good job of filling up my schedule this last week with lots of things. Turkish lessons. Meeting with a friend. Small group. Georgian lessons. Prayer meeting. Another meeting with a friend. And more. And it was good at the time...but now I'm tired and I feel like my brain and my heart are both in incredible pain.
So, I need to process DTS...but I'm afraid to. And I'm not exactly sure how to do it. And my brain and my heart are tired. And I'm so grateful that God is giving me time though...like, I didn't just get shot back to the U.S.! I have a chance to deal with part of the struggle here (and be with cool people too, you know...Georgians!) and then once that's worked out, I get to deal with the other part back home.
God TOTALLY knows me. He knows what I can handle, and I am SOOOOOOOOOO grateful for that. I really love Him.
So, even things are rough right now...I know 'everything gonna be okay'! This experience/time/situation will turn into something beautiful that I can hang on the wall of my heart.
Ending is a difficult thing to do. As our leaders put it, it's like leaving the fluffy white cloud of DTS and crashing back down to earth, the "real world". People aren't going to understand you when you talk about certain things. They're going to expect you to react in certain ways, even though you've changed...and it's all hard to handle.
Praise the Lord that I'm not going through that yet (since I'm still in Georgia), but I'm still dealing with it all. For the past 5 1/2 months I've had INTENSE activity and everything and I've shared my room with 2 of the coolest girls God created, and I had a schedule (AKA structure...I like...!) and yeah. But now, those things are like gone. Well, in a sense.
I did a pretty good job of filling up my schedule this last week with lots of things. Turkish lessons. Meeting with a friend. Small group. Georgian lessons. Prayer meeting. Another meeting with a friend. And more. And it was good at the time...but now I'm tired and I feel like my brain and my heart are both in incredible pain.
So, I need to process DTS...but I'm afraid to. And I'm not exactly sure how to do it. And my brain and my heart are tired. And I'm so grateful that God is giving me time though...like, I didn't just get shot back to the U.S.! I have a chance to deal with part of the struggle here (and be with cool people too, you know...Georgians!) and then once that's worked out, I get to deal with the other part back home.
God TOTALLY knows me. He knows what I can handle, and I am SOOOOOOOOOO grateful for that. I really love Him.
So, even things are rough right now...I know 'everything gonna be okay'! This experience/time/situation will turn into something beautiful that I can hang on the wall of my heart.
1 comment:
Trust is something we learn. Trusting God for today, yesterday, tomorrow...forever. Trust is one thing in our head and another in our heart, BUT GOD is trustworthy with your hopes, fears and very life. Bless the Lord for moving you to this point of reflection, inspection and trust. I know My God, Who walks with us the entire journey and is so pleased that we are in His forever family. The journey is more than feelings and events, it is His Presence and with that there is peace...or so it says...that is where the trust comes in, for in seeking what is missing, what is empty and inviting the Lord's Presence to that, then trust increases and with increase in trust is an anticipating of blessing...not the mountain high blessing, but the blessing of knowing He is and that blessing grows trust. His love multiplies and the darkness cannot stay in His Light. Fear is always overcome by His love. Walk in His light and love and be cleansed as you confess all that does not plumbline with His Presence and then trust becomes more rooted and you will continue to grow in grace. I love the process of you growing in the Lord. You definitely are not alone and your being tired and weary will also be relieved. In him, your heart rejoices. May He be very present with you each moment.
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