what's goin' on...

Tonight I'm going over to Mark & Carole's (they're one of the Campus Crusade missionary families here in Tbilisi) to watch Lord of the Rings : Two Towers, and I guess you could say I'm pretty excited. :-) It should be fun. They said that maybe they would call it the "J-Party" because Jenni, Julie, Joel, (Jake and John are 2 of their kids) are going to be there. Hey hey!

Last night we had Bible study for some university students, and it was pretty cool. We sang worship songs in Georgian, and talked a lot about life and stuff. At one point, it got a little crazy though: some of the students started a little side discussion in Georgian about whether or not everything we're going to do is written in a book by God or something like that. But I know that God was there, regardless of the other little distractions and stuff. I just really see how focusing on all of the little details that really are not essential to a new relationship with Jesus, can totally cause you to miss the point and make you discouraged, so it's something to try to watch out for. So, Mark (he was leading) just tried to refocus back to talking about the fact that God really did create us with a purpose, and that He has the answers we're looking for about why we're alive. It was good.

And tomorrow I'm going on a hike with a university student (who knows really good English because she's attending some American-ish university in Tbilisi or something), and then I'm helping lead worship at the international church. And then my friend Megan and I (she's a missionary here too, but with a different organization) are going to do something fun. So, tomorrow should be a good day too.

:-)

kleenex and relationships

Last night I took my clothes out of the washing machine to hang them up to dry, and I discovered that I once again, washed a kleenex with them. And you know, you would think I would have learned my lesson. It happened once before too and I made a mental note to always check pockets for those notorious kleenexes, but I guess I got lazy and forgot. And now I have quite the mess to clean up. But, I think everything will be okay in the end...hopefully the stuff will come off really easy after everything is dry. And last night as I was dealing with this issue, I concluded that washing a kleenex with your laundry, is kind of like sin. Because when you sin, it gets everywhere and messes up many things, but praise the Lord that God can clean us off in a second.

Tonight I'm going to a Bible study that the Campus Crusade missionaries have started here, and they're going through the Purpose-Driven Life (they have copies in Georgian). I've never actually read the book, and in the past I was actually kind of opposed to it because it seemed too trendy or something, and everyone was starting the "Purpose-Driven _____" and I didn't like it. But I've started to read it, and I think it's really good, especially for people in orthodox culture, because it talks abot God in a relational way. A very high percentage of Georgians call themselves "Christians", but many of them live for nothing more than rules and rituals. And now that I think about it, I'm classifying this as an orthodox characteristic, but it's also a Western one too. "Read this book!...Attend this youth program!...Say these words!..." Something super important that I've really been learning about my relationship with God, is that it's just that. RELATIONSHIP. Not rules. Not rituals. Relationship.

me kartveli var...martla!

Yesterday Diana & Ira (my roommates from DTS) came and are staying with me now. It's awesome to be able to see them again and talk and laugh and eat chocolate! And tonight they taught me how to make borsche...because us Americans are like starving here! ;-) But, it was actually really exciting because now I feel more like a woman...or at least more something!

This morning we went to the School of Tomorrow (it's a Christian-focus school that is kind of hard to explain, but our base leader has been partnering with the founder of the school for a long time)...anyways, we went there and sat in on some conversational English classes. They are really short, but we use the Bible...the kids read, and then we ask questions. The topic today was baptism, which is very interesting to discuss in an orthodox country! But yeah, Dennis (base leader) wants to get us ready so that we can teach the class and stuff. It is pretty cool.

And then we went and visited our friend Nino. And then I went to Georgian lessons. My teacher and I talked about globalization and now I'm learning how to tell time and 52 adjectives in Georgian. Oh, and I finally found a medium sized Georgian-English dictionary for 17 lari...so I bought it. I think it is definitely a good investment.

Then we walked a little bit, came home, talked, prayed, made borsche, ate cake and drank tea. It was a really good day.

:-)

working out the kinks

In response to my last post, I'd like to say that GOD IS WORKING out the kinks. :-)

Of course it is difficult when you really really realize that you aren't in control of everything around you (Sometimes, at least I...but I'm sure everyone, we convince ourselves subconsciously or consciously that we are in control of the things that are happening in our lives. But that is in fact a lie, and so when reality hits, even when you know the truth but maybe aren't quite accepting it, it can hurt a little). But I know that in view of eternity, I would rather relinquish control to God and trust that if I follow where He leads, the outcome will be great...than try to plan my own future and have to spend the rest of my life cleaning up the debris.

And so, in redirecting my life (from where I was taking it), God has sort of begun to close a relationship, continue a few old ones, directed me to quit Turkish lessons, brought up an opportunity to practice teaching a little bit, and is reminding me that I am doing this all for HIM.

I can really say that I've sort of forgotten it. Like, I'm so used to living here in Georgia now and doing all this stuff, that I sometimes think that it's "just my life". Which is true, but it's "just my life...which I AM LIVING FOR HIM." And I really think I'd better wake up and live in that knowledge every second of the day.

So, I guess there are a lot of changes happening in every area...whether it's a change of schedule or a smack of understanding. And I really thank God for all of it. I'm so glad that God is not just "God up in heaven"...but that He is God in heaven, and He is God in my heart, and He is God who understands what it's like to be a human, and He is God who LOVES us unboundedly. Really.

And a story that I read from a book & posted a while ago...but that is worth being reminded of:

"I need oil," said an ancient monk, so he planted an olive sapling. "Lord," he prayed, "it needs rain that its tender roots may drink and swell. Send gentle showers." And the Lord sent gentle showers. "Lord," prayed the monk, "my tree needs sun. Send sun, I pray thee." And the sun shone, gilding the dripping clouds. "Now frost, my Lord, to brace its tissues," cried the monk. And behold, the little tree stood sparkling with frost but at evening it died. Then the monk sought the cell of a brother monk, and told his strange experience. "I, too, planted a little tree," he said, "and see! It thrives well. But I entrust my tree to its God. He who made it knows better what it needs than a man like me. I laid no condition. I fixed not ways or means. 'Lord, send what it needs,' I prayed, 'storm or sunshine, wind, rain, or frost. Thou hast made it and Thou dost know.' "

everything gonna be okay

So, I guess I can write right now about some things.

Ending is a difficult thing to do. As our leaders put it, it's like leaving the fluffy white cloud of DTS and crashing back down to earth, the "real world". People aren't going to understand you when you talk about certain things. They're going to expect you to react in certain ways, even though you've changed...and it's all hard to handle.

Praise the Lord that I'm not going through that yet (since I'm still in Georgia), but I'm still dealing with it all. For the past 5 1/2 months I've had INTENSE activity and everything and I've shared my room with 2 of the coolest girls God created, and I had a schedule (AKA structure...I like...!) and yeah. But now, those things are like gone. Well, in a sense.

I did a pretty good job of filling up my schedule this last week with lots of things. Turkish lessons. Meeting with a friend. Small group. Georgian lessons. Prayer meeting. Another meeting with a friend. And more. And it was good at the time...but now I'm tired and I feel like my brain and my heart are both in incredible pain.

So, I need to process DTS...but I'm afraid to. And I'm not exactly sure how to do it. And my brain and my heart are tired. And I'm so grateful that God is giving me time though...like, I didn't just get shot back to the U.S.! I have a chance to deal with part of the struggle here (and be with cool people too, you know...Georgians!) and then once that's worked out, I get to deal with the other part back home.

God TOTALLY knows me. He knows what I can handle, and I am SOOOOOOOOOO grateful for that. I really love Him.

So, even things are rough right now...I know 'everything gonna be okay'! This experience/time/situation will turn into something beautiful that I can hang on the wall of my heart.

rollin' on the river

Our YWAM Base Leader (Dennis) and the DTS girls!

So things are crazy, busy and good!

I guess the only real negative thing is that I haven't really given myself a chance to stop and process all that happened during DTS...but I think I'm going to start today.

So, when I say busy I mean this. I've started taking Turkish language lessons, Georgian language lessons, I am part of 2 girl's small group things (1 that I joined and 1 I am starting), meeting with people just to have fun, helping out with the English speaking church...and stuff like that! But, it's been pretty cool. I've decided that I really need to get a planner though!

And I seem to have a sort of writer's block or something. I mean, there are really interesting things that happen in my life, and that have happened, but I just can't seem to get them out here. Ya niznayo pachimu. I just do not know why. Maybe I've forgotten English or something. I mean, I don't know..but maybe...?

:-)

Tbilisi, Georgia DTS Graduating Class of 2007 (with leaders too!)