blogging is such a strange thing. you really want people to read what you're writing so that you know it's not totally in vain. but at the same time, once you are aware that people are reading what you are writing, it's like you can't really write what you really want anyway. really, it's like you're writing about your life, but subconciously hoping that it will please your readers, that it will sound exciting, or maybe intellectual. it really is bizzare.
i miss home. not to sound wimpy, or un-missionary material...but i really do. i miss my people and my car and driving and milk cartons with lids. i think part of my longing for home comes from my not-quite-so-busy schedule. like, i guess i feel like right now i don't really have a purpose. i mean, yeah i'm doing stuff. i help out with worship at the fellowship (the english speaking church). and right now i'm helping out the campus crusade missionaries here: keti and i are "house-sitting" while they are in ukraine with their family for some conferences. but i just feel like i'm missing something. like i wish i could do more. oh and especially i miss the kids i used to watch at mid-week childcare.
oh, and this might be slightly random, but...i've been getting these like dizzy spells the past day or so and it's so strange. i thought that it might be linked to not drinking enough water, but i feel at least decently hydrated. so that, for the the readers that i am subconciously aware of, is sort of a prayer request of sorts.
and speaking of prayer requests. i am almost positively sure that i'm not the only one who really fails in this area, but it's so like disheartening to see in my own character. you know, i tell people that i will pray for them, and i really am good intentioned when i say it, and probably even excited about the opportunity to pray for them. but it seems that more often then not, i somehow don't get around to it until it's too late. and then i totally let them down, whether they knew it or not. i'm glad that God knows us so well that we don't have to "fill Him in" on anything or remind Him to take care of things. because i'm sure that things probably wouldn't get taken care of as well as they do now.
on the brighter side of things (not that all that i've written so far is necessarily dark, but i guess i feel sort of slightly like pessimistic. which by the way was not my intention. i'm just writing about life, man.) i think that i want to be an english major. i don't know for sure, but i really want to go back to school and get my degree. i guess i think that it would be really interesting to actually know my own language. it's a little awkward when a non-native english speaker asks you about a certain verb in the present perfect tense, and you don't have an answer to give them. but, ya nasnyeoh ("i don't know", in russian)-- it's not a set plan or anything. i guess we will see what God does with it.
i miss home. not to sound wimpy, or un-missionary material...but i really do. i miss my people and my car and driving and milk cartons with lids. i think part of my longing for home comes from my not-quite-so-busy schedule. like, i guess i feel like right now i don't really have a purpose. i mean, yeah i'm doing stuff. i help out with worship at the fellowship (the english speaking church). and right now i'm helping out the campus crusade missionaries here: keti and i are "house-sitting" while they are in ukraine with their family for some conferences. but i just feel like i'm missing something. like i wish i could do more. oh and especially i miss the kids i used to watch at mid-week childcare.
oh, and this might be slightly random, but...i've been getting these like dizzy spells the past day or so and it's so strange. i thought that it might be linked to not drinking enough water, but i feel at least decently hydrated. so that, for the the readers that i am subconciously aware of, is sort of a prayer request of sorts.
and speaking of prayer requests. i am almost positively sure that i'm not the only one who really fails in this area, but it's so like disheartening to see in my own character. you know, i tell people that i will pray for them, and i really am good intentioned when i say it, and probably even excited about the opportunity to pray for them. but it seems that more often then not, i somehow don't get around to it until it's too late. and then i totally let them down, whether they knew it or not. i'm glad that God knows us so well that we don't have to "fill Him in" on anything or remind Him to take care of things. because i'm sure that things probably wouldn't get taken care of as well as they do now.
on the brighter side of things (not that all that i've written so far is necessarily dark, but i guess i feel sort of slightly like pessimistic. which by the way was not my intention. i'm just writing about life, man.) i think that i want to be an english major. i don't know for sure, but i really want to go back to school and get my degree. i guess i think that it would be really interesting to actually know my own language. it's a little awkward when a non-native english speaker asks you about a certain verb in the present perfect tense, and you don't have an answer to give them. but, ya nasnyeoh ("i don't know", in russian)-- it's not a set plan or anything. i guess we will see what God does with it.
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