Sunday, January 20, 2008

belonging

I feel so isolated. I was just hanging out on myspace and seeing peoples lives (from what you can really see on the internet) and I really feel disconnected. Not just from their lives, but from America in general. I have no idea what's happening. And I'm not sure if that really bothers me or not.

I just feel a little homeless. I feel pretty comfortable in Georgia, but not totally. And the thought that I'm beginning to feel like America isn't my home is kind of discontenting too. Where do I belong?

I'm not totally Georgian: I can't speak the language, people can still spot me as a foreigner, I don't always understand the way to do things. And I feel like I'm not totally American either: I can't speak English properly including articles and everything, I'm totally out of the "pop culture" or whatever is popular now...I have no idea, and I've a newly learned way of doing things with is sometimes different than the way I used to do things.

I just feel funny.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jen Bear,

I wanted to let you know how much I look forward to you updating your blog. As far as the belonging or the not belonging goes, just know that no matter where you are, no matter what you are doing that you ARE in the Kingdom of God, you are His daughter, an heir to the throne of grace! No one no matter where can take that away from you. One of the things I like to say to some who are in a point of challenge or change is "Go & Grow". That is exactly what you are doing, you have gone and you have and are growing. I see it in your blog, you transparency to speak so boldly, so truthfully, I really would expect anything else from you. Love you, Susan

Timothy Shields said...

I think that myspace may have had a lot to do with it. I just had a bad experience there myself...

Mark - Layers of Color said...

Jen -

I hear what you're saying, but I'm here in the U.S., and I don't feel at home either! ;-) Those who are in Christ are not of this world... Amen?

I enjoy hearing from you on your blog, and I read all your posts.

By the way, you might want to check out www.hisholyspace.com...

In Him,

- Marko

leah renée said...

I love you Jenni!! :)

i'm sorry you're feeling so alone. i wish we were there with you!! that would be awesome.

not to try and downplay your detatchment but i sort of feel the same way. not nearly as much i'm sure. but i feel like all connections to my past are gone which in a lot of ways is a good thing but it makes me sad that no one really knows me like you do. like shawn. like beth. you know? it makes me sad.

but just know that we love you!! :D

Z_Trandum said...

Hey there Jen Bear!!!

Just as almost everyone said in their comments, you are in the Kingdom so you are at home where ever you go!!! But also know that no matter where you go, you are deeply loved, more than you could ever know. You probably have one of the biggest families ever at this point lol. Since you got a whole bunch in Georgia and then another load of us over here :). Be blessed and highly favored, and know that you are thought of, prayed for, and most of all, loved. I love ya Jen Bear, and I really miss you. I hope to talk to you soon!!!
-Zach T