Return from Kutaisi : Leave for Khulo

GELATI (a famous orthodox church) -->

Kutaisi was great. We visited some places, and then we helped with a church meeting (we did dramas and sang songs and talked and stuff). We ate together and gave a lot of toasts and built a lot of relationships.

And tomorrow morning at 8:30am we are leaving to go visit Khulo (it's the village we lived in for one month during outreach) and I am really excited. We're only staying for about 2 days, but I know that it's going to be great.

thirty...kutaisi...self-control

So, like 30 days until I come back to the States...dun dun dun!

I just realized that today...it's crazy how quickly time goes. Seriously.

So, I did get my room packed up and I've been staying with my friend Megan, which has been incredibly cool. And tomorrow morning I'm leaving for Kutaisi. I found out more about it. Basically we're going there to work with a church and to get people excited about telling others about Jesus! So, that should be fun. And I think we are staying in homes with families and stuff, and that's always really super cool. I heard that Kutaisians are really hospitable.

Something that I need/want to learn now and especially before I go to the States is SELF-CONTROL. Don't worry, I'm not like stealing or binge drinking or anything.

Wow, I feel really vulnerable now that I've said that. I guess that's a good thing though--brings humility.

one-two-three

1 Currently I am procrastinating. But what I am supposed to be doing is packing up my room in Vazi. I have to move out for about one week, because before I was here a conference was scheduled. So they need most of the rooms, including mine! But it's actually probably an incredibly good thing, because I am sort of like pre-packing for coming back to the States. So, in the long run, I'm sure that it will be REALLY helpful!


2 What else. This coming week we are going to visit a nearby (3 hours) city, Kutaisi. I don't know exactly what we are going to be doing...I think probably work with a church there and tell people about Jesus. Sounds good to me. And then next week we are going to return to the village Khulo, where we stayed for a month during outreach. I'm really excited to see these people again! I kind of hope that some of the snow will have melted away by now, but I guess we will see.


3 JOY. I really want it, all the time. I'm learning more about it. And I seem to have it more when I look at life with the realization that this isn't all there is. I want it to be contagious. I want to be free to express my joy to God in any way necessary. I want other people to have this same thing. And I want God to smile when He sees what is happening.

if you could do anything for Jesus, what would it be?

There are many people here in Tbilisi, who beg for money. There are a lot of "gypsies", women with babies, people with disabilities or deformities, and there are especially a lot of older people. I think it's attributed to the fact that the pensions here (and I'm sure other places as well), are horrifically small, and many elderly people are unable to work because of physical ailments. So, their last resort is to beg for money.

And a couple of weeks ago I was walking down the street and I saw ahead of me, an old lady who was doing just this outside of a clothing store. She was hunched over on her cane, and she held her hand out in such a way as to beckon people to come and contribute. Some people were moved to compassion and gave her the leftover change in their pants pocket or after their purchase. But many walked by without paying any attention.

I wasn't sure whether or not I should give money, so I asked God, "Lord, what do You want me to do? Should I give her money? How much?". And I walked more, waiting for an answer. I didn't hear anything, so when I came near I stopped and tried to communicate with her the best that I could, in broken, or rather, destroyed Georgian and Russian language. She was hard of hearing and didn't understand me, so I just patted her arm and kept walking. But then I was thinking again, "Lord, if You want me to give money to her, I totally will...just please tell me what you want me to do!" I didn't hear anything. But I felt like I should just give her something, so I went back and gave 2 lari, turned back around and started walking again. But then I asked AGAIN, "Lord, if You want me to give more money to her I will! Just PLEASE tell me how much!" And then I got an answer.

I felt like God asked ME a question (an interesting reversal), "What do you WANT to give to her?" Hmm...

So, I went back to her, gave her the rest of the money that I had in my pocket, tried to tell her to buy healthy food so she can be strong, and then continued on my way.

You may feel free to conclude your own moral of the story, but I wanted to share this experience with you!

seriously spring

The weather here in Tbilisi is getting increasingly beautiful every day (well, sometimes there are the occasional rain showers, but besides that), and it really makes me feel like refreshed or something. Today I decided that spring is my favorite season. Well, I was actually thinking about those surveys that people send you in emails that ask about what your favorite things are and what you want in a boyfriend/girlfriend, and I decided that if I ever got one of those again and if it asked what my favorite season was, I would say, "Spring!"

On a different, slightly more serious note, God showed me this particular Bible verse the other day:

"Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed
by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and
approve what God's will is- His good, pleasing and perfect will."
Romans 12:2 (NIV)

And it really hits home for me. I really don't want to conform to this "world", but I also don't want to just conform to premade Christianity. Like, I want to have a relationship with Jesus that is real and alive and intimate and unique...I want something deeper. This is just sort of what I'm thinking about these days. Like, God is SO big and so there must be like so many dimensions to having a relationship with Him, right? I don't know...what do you think?

musical airplanes with a beautiful perspective

I feel like I'm going a little crazy.

I need to hear music man. I don't what it is about me. But, it's like I just need it. But I don't have a computer and I don't have a CD player and it's making me just a little crazy. But I'm listening to music now as I'm using Caitlin and Andrew's computer (they're the American couple that's living in the same building as me, they were my DTS staff and outreach leaders) and it helps. It's really strange you know. I mean, yeah I hear music like in taxis or at other places, but there is just something about choosing what you want to listen to. I don't know. Maybe this is a pointless thing to talk about, but it's what I'm thinking now.

So, I am leaving Georgia April 19th, I talked to my travel agent yesterday. Part of me is really excited. But part of me is really a little afraid. And you know the strange thing is that I feel very similar to the way I did when I was coming TO Georgia. The details are different, but it's a very similar feeling. Which is kind of showing me that I need to apply the lessons I learned LAST time and have some peace in Christ.

Today there was a Bible seminar about who Jesus really is, in the building I live in. And it was interesting, even though I heard all of those things before, it was still like really good to hear. But, there was a blind man who came and so I talked to him a little bit, in Georgian/Russian and he knew a little English. And he said something, and this is my summary/application to everyone. WE can be beautiful people. Maybe we're physically beautiful. Maybe our hearts are beautiful. Maybe our words reflect our beauty. But when Jesus lives inside us, we are a million-trillion-gagillion times MORE beautiful than any of that. When Jesus lives inside of us. And it's so true. In my relationship with God, I have found that there is this gentleness and peace and softness and I cannot even explain the utter beauty of it.

And also today we were talking about how there really aren't words to describe God because He is so great, and things like the Trinity are so beyond our understanding, and I just had this picture in my mind. Like, that I was in heaven (sorry no description of what I saw heaven to be, I didn't really see that, I just knew I was there) and I was looking back to that exact moment when we were doing our best to try to describe God, and I thought how childish it was. Childish not because it was stupid, but because it was so true that words couldn't describe God. Because at that moment it was like I knew that I had seen God since I was in heaven and I realized just how far beyond our words He reaches. And it was so strange to think in that perspective. But it was just a moment. That heavenly understanding of God was not locked into my brain, I guess it's like waiting for me...probably in heaven with God, yeah?

peanut butter and plans

So, I really feel like I'm supposed to come home in April. Which is good, because it is sooner than May. And I am really excited to see people and eat as much peanut butter as I want. :-)

But I'm noticing that I'm starting to think like, "ohh...what about this?...and this? ...and this?" and it's making me a little crazy. Well, not crazy, just a little distracted I guess. It's like what it was like in June, but the reversal, it's really strange. But hopefully I will be able to trust God with it all at least a little more so that some things will be easier!

And other news, I guess I've officially been accepted as YWAM staff here in Georgia now (I filled out application and my references were my outreach leaders) and so yeah. It's cool. But as usual (in my life at least I've noticed this), now that I'm accepted I'm starting to really wonder, "Is this REALLY what God wants me to do?!" And you know, I really think it's where He is leading me, but it's not solid/concrete. Maybe that's His way of keeping me on my toes, always trusting in Him and not in my own plans. Because He could change it all, but I really hope not...but I will have to obey if He does!

I know that He plans good things for us, maybe there aren't good things that happen along the way...but I know that He really loves and He really cares and He really understands. So I know that I can trust Him, even when I don't feel like trusting (because trusting takes faith and sometimes faith is lacking).