by request...

Kari Jobe/ Christ for the Nation's - The More I Seek You

two loves

I'm back in Georgia! I love it. It's so sunny. And chaotic. And there are so many dark-haired beautiful Georgians (as in comparison to light-haired beautiful Dutchies) :-). And I just am glad to be back.

But that's not to say that I don't miss Holland... I do! Enough to spend extra money to buy hand soap that was from Holland (or that I at least saw in Holland) instead of just regular hand soap. And that I got excited that I saw a Nutella jar that had Dutch on it and was from Holland. Slightly ridiculous, but these were my true feelings!

I'm totally in love with this song "The More I Seek You" - Kari Jobe/Christ for the Nations. I am like constantly singing it either in my head or out loud when I'm walking around. It's really how I feel these days:

the more I seek You
the more I find You
the more I find You
the more I love You

I want to sit at Your feet
drink from the cup in Your hand
lay back against You and breathe
feel your heartbeat
this love is so deep
it's more than I can stand
i melt in Your peace
it's overwhelming

Beautiful. Profound. Amazing.

Well, off to bed. I have a meeting tomorrow! The fun begins. :-)
Georgia, I love you and am glad to be back. Holland, I love you too and hope to return soon!

just reflecting.

It's snowing.

It's so interesting to be able to witness the incredibly amazing way the seasons change. Like, I'm looking out the window and now its snowy and white, the trees are bare, and it's cold. And 3 months ago, it was sunny and green, the trees were full and it was bright and warm. It's hard to fathom how many things happened in these short 3 months. Life is a mystery to me. I'm feeling poetic and reflective now, but my words don't suffice. But I'm amazed. Life is beautiful. Creation is beautiful.

I'm really starting to believe that I'm going back to Georgia. I mean, I always knew I was going back after the school was finished (I have a plane ticket!). But it's so easy to get involved and caught up in life here. But now things are really coming to an end. I had my last one-on-one. Last time in worship with the base. My last test. And I'm procrastinating on doing my homework for the last time now. So many lasts. I feel a little sad, but not completely. Pretty numb too (from so many contradicting emotions! excited to go back to Georgia, sad to leave, etc.). But totally full of gratitude for this life-changing 3 months in Holland. Another chapter to my story, eh.

I'm really wondering about my life. Sometimes I think that I want to have a more consistent one. Not having to switch "homes" so much. Knowing more what to expect. Being more comfortable. But then I think that I'd be unhappy in that situation. But then I think, is life all about traveling and excitement? All about being comfortable and consistent? I don't know. Is there even a standard that determines that your life was good or well lived? I'm really wondering. I'm really wondering what I want. What God wants to use me for. What I'd like. What would be fulfilling. What I can do. A lot of life-destiny questions.

I wish I could know the answers now, but I understand that I can't. I'll know as I walk into them.