Wednesday, October 18, 2006

RELINQUISH: voluntary cease to keep or claim


ME AND MY ROOMMATES: DIANA AND IRA

So, yesterday I realized that there are a lot of things I really miss from the States...even things that I either really didn't like when I was there, or things that I didn't do very often. Like, for example, yesterday I had the hugest desire to go to the mall and to paint pottery with Micahlyn. And always I have the most hugest desire to drive.

I think it's because this week we're talking about "giving up your rights". Like, giving up your right to be comfortable and in your culture, and giving up your right to be married, giving up your right for a "good reputation" and giving up your right to live. I don't mean like never having those things, but just like TOTALLY surrendering them to God. Relinquishing them into His hands and trusting that He will take care of them, and that He will do what He knows is best...but doing all of that and still maintaining responsibilities. It's a really interesting concept, and a hard one. I mean, I can say that I trust God with my potential, or not potential marriage, but really I struggle to do that. You know, you meet a someone you like and you wonder, "will he be my husband?" Or trusting God with my life, when you do that, you are free from the fear of death, and I can say that that is not true for me! So, it's been good to talk and think about this stuff.

And something I really need to give up this very moment is my desire (it's definitely not a right) to control the other students! I struggle to find a balance between like seeing something wrong and mentioning it, and being a nagging-grandmother. I'm not proud of it, and it really is a hard thing to deal with...but I know I need to give it up.

But GOOD NEWS: This morning I was reflecting back on some things in my life, and one instance, or group of similar instances, popped up. I remember when I first started going to EdCC and I went and visited one of my friends in downtown Seattle. When we would talk, somehow partying (like getting drunk) would come into play, and each time I really wanted to say, "no, I'm really not interested in that kind of thing"...but I was too afraid! Maybe afraid that I would look like not "cool" or something, or just unsure about what I even wanted because as a believer in Jesus I was way of course. Anyway, I remember how I was then, and then viewed how I am now. Like, I don't think that I would really struggle with that now. I'd be like, "no way man!". And it's just really encouraging to see these different areas in which Christ has grown and built up my character thus far. I realized how much Jesus really is my REDEEMER, and what that redemption really meant. Eta ochen harasho.





1 comment:

Clayritter said...

jenny jenny - good to hear from you - great blog!

dont have a lot to say today - getting ready for commuion service tonight. I would say that I think what you and the other dts students are experienceing is goingto PROFOUNDLY change your life!

Not because of the program, or the DTS, or the great teachers that have come (ha ha) - but because you are setting aside - dedicating - being 'set aprt' for God to speak to you, grow you, and further use you in His kingdom.

May the Lord bless you as you grow in his grace and love!

pastor clay

check us out at calvaryofwilmington.blogspot.com ... someone please post something! :-)