armenia

Hi there. I know that I haven't been writing here very much, which kind of defeats it's purpose (to tell you about my life and what I've been doing). But I can say much of the reason for my lack of writing is because I have to use an internet cafe computer, and I find it hard to be inspired here. But nonetheless, here I am.

Things in Armenia have been very busy! And very hot too. It's only the end of April and it really feels like summer. And the locals are more suprised than we are. It makes me wonder if this whole global warming thing is really true (some say it's not).

During our time here we were able to participate in the memorial day of the Armenian Genocide (it's in memory of the more than a million and a half Armenians that were killed by the Ottoman Empire (basically Turkey) and it's a source of much pain for Armenians even today. I think mostly because some people, namely Turkey, refuses to acknowledge it as a genocide. And so this pain is being passed from generation to generation. For more info see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Armenian_Genocide). I'm kind of afraid to write so "nonchalantly" about this. I can say it's only from lack of knowledge. So, go ahead and read about it for yourselves.

Anyways, we participated in this memorial day. We met with a Norwegian DTS outreach team and 2 of the staff from the Armenian YWAM base here, and began our walk with thousands (I can't necessarily say that I saw thousands of people, although my estimation skills are not that good, but I've heard that every year more than a million people participate in this event) in the blazing heat (we all came out with various forms of sunburns). We walked a very long distance carrying flowers, some carrying banners or photos, and ended up at a monument commemorating the genocide. In the middle is an eternal flame for the people who died. We took our flowers and put it around that flame, and then continued to walk to the finish. I think it took a couple of hours, although it could of seemed longer because of the heat, but it was still significant.

So yeah. We are here. Sometimes I forget that I'm in Armenia (and sometimes I feel like I grew up here), and then when I realize, I am very grateful to God that I'm here. And that I'm with the people I'm with (our outreach team). And that I'm learning the things I'm learning (a lot).

Jenni's Journeys #7

Pushing Forward

Oy mey! I am very tired. Partly because of lack of sleep (due to my inability to go to sleep early, while still waking up early) plus just the general stress of being in the 11th week of DTS, and the fact that we are leaving for outreach in 11 days! Oh, and the Armenian DTS is here for the teaching this week, which means double the people and double the food and I'm on dinner prep!

But in other news, some info about outreach: we are now going to Armenia for our first month and then we're hoping to go to a town in Georgia called Akhal Kalaki for the 2nd month. We still have a lot of details to work out, but that is our general plan.

Please be praying for us this week since we have so much happening now and so much to do! Also the teaching this week is really great and potentially life changing, about our personalities and why we do the things we do.
SENDING MY LOVE, jenniko

DTS- Team Building

Objectionable Content

So I'm pretty sure I just accidentally flagged my blog as having objectionable content. Oops.

Today we are having team building and then at 3 we will start a 24 hour prayer and fast. The team building will be different activities that illustrate various aspects of working in a team (it's like preparation for outreach). Like building balloon towers and macaroni pictures and stuff like that, really. But there's more to it than that! I think it will be really fun.

Other than that... the weather has been incredibly beautiful these past couple days and the sun really changes the mood of things. :-)

Technology ROCKS!

Hey friends! So part of the reason I have been very absent here is because our internet at home (Vazi) stopped working. But yesterday I bought a new cell phone and that is how I am writing this! Technology rocks.

So we just finished our 7th week of DTS and that means there are only 5 weeks to go before outreach! Our school will split into two teams for outreach: the team I will be on will be going to...ARMENIA!

I am very excited about this for 2 reasons. 1) I have never been to Armenia. 2) Although I am not 100% sure, I have heard that my birthmother who was adopted as a baby, was Armenian! So it will be a very interesting outreach for me! We will also spend half the time in Georgia...but we don't know where yet.

So, woo-hoo! :-) I will try to send out a newsletter soon to update you all better.

Anyways, sending you my love from my cell phone! <3

us

So we are heading into our 6th week of DTS now!


Here is us.

sorry!

I realized that my blog has been so incredibly depressing for way too long!! SO I am going to make a conscious effort to talk about the more positive aspects of my life!

I guess this is sort of an apology.

:-)

belonging

I feel so isolated. I was just hanging out on myspace and seeing peoples lives (from what you can really see on the internet) and I really feel disconnected. Not just from their lives, but from America in general. I have no idea what's happening. And I'm not sure if that really bothers me or not.

I just feel a little homeless. I feel pretty comfortable in Georgia, but not totally. And the thought that I'm beginning to feel like America isn't my home is kind of discontenting too. Where do I belong?

I'm not totally Georgian: I can't speak the language, people can still spot me as a foreigner, I don't always understand the way to do things. And I feel like I'm not totally American either: I can't speak English properly including articles and everything, I'm totally out of the "pop culture" or whatever is popular now...I have no idea, and I've a newly learned way of doing things with is sometimes different than the way I used to do things.

I just feel funny.

Judgement's Distance

It seems like the distance/time between my judgment of someone, and the realization that I am guilty of the same or similar thing, is constantly becoming shorter and smaller. And I am so amazed by this near certainty. Like, the other day, I was upset with someone and so I was having one of those conversations where you are talking to the person, but not really. Like, a "mind conversation" where you can say whatever you want, whether it's right or not. Do you know what I'm talking about? Anyways, it went something like this:

"You're SO selfish!! You can't just come and take MY things and use them without asking! It's so selfish of..."

"...me. Oh my goodness."

Do you see my point?

i can't even think of a good post title

Oy mey guys, the thought of sitting down and actually writing a blog post is nearly torturous to me... my brain is so full of thoughts, ideas, experiences, etc... and for some reason I've really lost the ability to just be free and write about what's happening in my life, really.

(That was a really long first sentence.)

In a lot of things, I feel more free than before, but for some reason I feel less free in this: communicating via blog, email, phone, etc. Really, it's like... horrible. I don't know if maybe it's the pressure of being a "real missionary" now, or if it's just me "growing up a little" and my focus is on other things. But whatever it is, I really don't like it. I like feeling free to write and to communicate in a real way, not with pretense.

Jenni's Journeys #6

Merry Christmas! I know I haven't been writing very much lately. Busyness + lack of ability to sort out thoughts=that. But here is a video. :-)

oh so tired, but it's worth it

Things have been BUSY around here.

We've had an outreach team from Bulgaria stay with us a few times as they've been traveling in/between Georgia and Armenia, and they were just here for 3 more days...and left this morning.

But before they even left, an Korean DTS outreach team (from Oregon) came early this morning. So Ira and I were up at 6:00 am welcoming people and helping others get ready to leave and...yeah!

And when the Bulgarian DTS left for the bus station, and the Korean DTS left to take care of some business downtown, I was in Vazi ALONE. Can you believe it? It's been a very long time since I've been totally alone (not that I necessarily dislike people, but it's just nice after intense activity!). So, I cleaned and it was just really good.

Then Nino Deda, she's the manager of Vazi (where I live), came and we talked about life and Jesus and the future. And purpose. She's going to be a student in our DTS, but she seriously is like MY teacher!

And I just went and got a copy of my passport (I'm working on my documents for my one-year visa), picked up some pants from the tailor and ate some khatchapuri. And I am really really tired now, as I sit in a dark room (one of the Korean ladies is staying in our room, and she's sleeping), with a full stomach. Oy mey. SO tired.

But I'm learning. Pushing on. I'm glad to be here. I really love Georgia.

With some of the Bulgarian DTS!

lari --> $

The exchange rate right now is, 1.62 GEL (Georgian Lari) =$1 USD. So, the lady wanted $74 for the coat at first, and then changed her mind to about $50. Just so you know (someone asked)!

(If you don't know what I'm talking about, read the post right underneath this one!)

:-)

randomosity

I am so tired right now, but I thought I would write you all a little something.

Did you know that I started to knit? Yup, that's right. Today at the School of Tomorrow (where we teach our conversational English classes), during the break times, Ira and I just sat in our room and knitted. I felt babushka-like (grandmother-like). But you know, I like it. :-)

Speaking of the School of Tomorrow. I left my cell phone there today too! But I think it will be safe and sound until tomorrow.

What else...OH! We had our first snow in Tbilisi on Friday, so like 3 days ago (?), and it was pretty cool. It didn't stick though, just turned into water and mud...but it was still kind of pretty.

I think I'm forgetting English. Today, Ira and I were walking and she said something about "potentinal energy" and I was like, "oh yeah (blah blah blah)"...and THEN I realized that "potentinal" isn't even a word.

And the other day at the "bazroba" (the bazaar/market) I was looking to buy a coat, so we were going from place to place looking and asking for prices. And this one lady saw that I was a foreigner (I think she heard us talking in English) and we asked how much this one coat cost and she was like "120 lari". 120 lari!! Yeah right, it's like way too expensive. So my face made that shocked looked and I was like, "Dzviria!! (it's expensive)" and we ran off to the next place. But the lady yelled after us, "gogoebo (girls!!) 80 lari, 80 lari!!!" So, I guess that's the Georgian way of doing things. Take note of this if you ever want to come to Georgia and buy a coat.

:-)

Okay, Vsio (that's all).

Jenni's Journeys #5

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Not to be totally switched from the sort of down post that I wrote yesterday, but here we are! I really am sending my love to you!

--- I ---

I want to write a lot! Of interesting things. Of "spiritual" things. Of something. But to pour something out, you have to first put something in. I think that's a pretty basic law of living. Not that I'm totally empty everyday, but I just feel a bit like that today. Lack in my responsibilities. Lack in my faith + endurance to stand up against temptation. Lack in my fullness of God's love (and therefore searching for other, temporary means of filling that hole).

I know it won't last forever, and I really praise the Lord for that. But that empty feeling still goes down to like the depths of yourself, all the way through everything inside.

I can't understand how people can live like this for their entire lives. And I can understand how people can live like this for their entire lives. It's really not a paradox.

squiggles

I'm beginning to think that you can usually tell when a book is going to be good/helpful by two criteria. 1) In the introduction the author gives the credit to God, in a very sincere way. 2) There are a lot of references to Bible verses, so it encourages me to read it.

And so I've determined that this book I've started reading, "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard J. Foster, will be good. But, to know for sure I will have to wait until I finish the whole thing to understand what I really think about it.

But I really like this passage, and it's only in the first page of the introduction:

"It is a wonder to me how God uses squiggles on paper to do his work in the hearts and minds of people. How are these squiggles transformed into letters and words and sentences and, finally, meaning? Oh, we may congratulate ourselves on knowing a little about the function of neurotransmitters in the brain or about how endorphin proteins affect learning and memory retention, but if we are honest, we know that thinking itself is a mystery. Doxology is the only appropriate response."

I think that I will like it.

trust

I've been thinking a lot about trust lately.

And this is something I'm beginning to learn: Trusting God is not just about trusting that He will help me to survive the 45 minute van ride from Gardabani to Tbilisi (when the driver is dodging in and out of traffic, oncoming cars, people, etc...and speeding), or trusting that He will help me find a great husband. It's also about trusting that He will work in the people AROUND me, just as much as He's working IN me.

I know He's got a handle on things (did I use that idiom correctly? I can't tell). But I find that I think (sometimes) that I can cause people to have revelations of God. Like if I do my best to put them in a certain situation, then maybe they will have their "wake-up call" and change their lives. Or if I say/don't say something then maybe they will feel convicted. And thoughts similar to those. But really, I don't know what these people are really thinking or what is really inside of their hearts, because they only show me what they choose to show me. And it's not always truth (just like I don't always show the truth about what's inside of me, although I try to very often). God is the only one that knows. Not me. Not YOU (I say that to "engage" you a little more in this post)! And if I see that He is working in my life, then I can TRUST that He is working in other peoples' lives too.

God is ultimately clever.

Sometimes it's hard, because I want everyone to be okay and for us to all have happy lives. It's hard to watch other people go through difficult times. It's hard for ME to go through difficult times. But difficulty usually brings change. And change is good, as much as we fight it.

mourning

Yesterday we found out that one of my good friends' (here in Georgia, and on staff with us) brother died. It was such a shock. She thought at first that her mom was sick, so she went very quickly and then found out that it was her brother who had died, he was in Moscow.

It's so hard to understand. It's so hard to know how to be the comfort that she needs.

And the mourning process here in Georgia seems so different. We went and visited her, and her mom was sitting in the living room, her friends were sitting around her, and she was really like "wailing". It was hard to hear. And I guess that it will be like that for 3 days. When the person dies and is actually in the country, they leave the body in the house for 3 days or something (first they do an operation and put some preserving stuff inside). But yeah. It seems really different than what I've experienced.

So it's partly hard to know how to act, because culturally I'm not sure what is acceptable and what is not. For example, when we were going to visit her I wanted to take a CD player and some CDs for her, because she really likes to listen to music and it helps her. But then I found out that it's not "acceptable". No TV, no music, no computer, not supposed to be any laughing or something like that. Just lights, people, food if you can make them eat (the people who are mourning) and like that's it. Of course I'm still learning about the culture of this all, so maybe I don't have it all correct. But nonetheless, it's very different.

So, anyways. Please be praying for her and for her mom.