I feel like I've forgotten how to communicate. I don't have the desire to write on this blog. I don't really even have the desire to write a newsletter. I think I feel sooo disconnected from "that" world (mostly America) that it's hard for me to try to reach out and connect it with the one I'm currently living in.
Plus I'm in the process of love, which distracts me to some extent. And also changes me. So then I feel a bit lost how to express myself in my new-ish state.
And plus plus, we're in kind of a lower period of ministry and activity in general. DTS is over for the year. Base leaders on furlough in America. Things not as structured as in the past. And somehow I feel like I don't have much to say.
But I know I have to.
And I know that it can be good and positive for the people who read it, and also for me as I write it. But I struggle to jump the hurdle now...
So speaking of feeling disconnected... REALLY I do. I was watching some youtube videos the other day, from the States and I felt so strange. As I was watching, the Americans seemed like foreigners to me. Seriously. I mean, I'm around some Americans here too, but mostly ones that have been out of America for a while, so they're kind of different. And I guess it makes me confused.
Lord, please help me to get my thoughts (and identity) straight.
Plus I'm in the process of love, which distracts me to some extent. And also changes me. So then I feel a bit lost how to express myself in my new-ish state.
And plus plus, we're in kind of a lower period of ministry and activity in general. DTS is over for the year. Base leaders on furlough in America. Things not as structured as in the past. And somehow I feel like I don't have much to say.
But I know I have to.
And I know that it can be good and positive for the people who read it, and also for me as I write it. But I struggle to jump the hurdle now...
So speaking of feeling disconnected... REALLY I do. I was watching some youtube videos the other day, from the States and I felt so strange. As I was watching, the Americans seemed like foreigners to me. Seriously. I mean, I'm around some Americans here too, but mostly ones that have been out of America for a while, so they're kind of different. And I guess it makes me confused.
Lord, please help me to get my thoughts (and identity) straight.
2 comments:
I TOTALLY get where you're coming from. I'm not saying it's the only reason why you don't want to write, but being in love is a big reason why I don't feel like writing much anymore. I used to be an avid blogger putting up nearly 30 posts a month. Now, I feel like I've done my job if I put up 6. lol. But I realize it's because I'm with Jeremy. Because we're together all the time and he's my best friend, I really don't need to sound out my ideas and thoughts on a blog anymore--I do it with him. So the blog gets neglected (though I wish it didn't). Maybe it would help to set a schedule like one a week or every other week where you just catch up on anything. :) I may not remember to blog on my own but I often find that if it's on a to-do list, it'll get done.
I totally understand what you mean about not feeling like you connect with Americans anymore. I only lived in Russia for 3 years but wow I felt so disconnected when my husband (then fiance) & I moved to the US. The transition was very rough & I didn't have anyone to help me through it or that understood me. My family tried to be understanding but I think they saw me as being anti-american for awhile. Your mind really does expand and burst out of the "American bubble" when you live overseas. I will be praying for you to not feel as disconnected from your home country! Congrats on your love I'm excited for you :) You're a cute couple!
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