ironing

This morning I was working in hospitality (right now, that's what I do in the mornings until lunch), and the task today was ironing. Because of the summer holidays, and staff days, and everything, there was A LOT of sheets and stuff to iron... so I did... for like three hours... and I got a blister on my hand, not from heat but from holding the iron and using it so long!! Haha!

Who would have thought that THIS American girl would iron SHEETS and TOWELS for three hours, when I didn't even iron my wrinkly shirt before?! I guess it's always good to learn new skills! :-) And I still had enough energy and enthusiasm to pose for an action photo!...



F.Y.I.: We iron so much so that things will be nice for our guests who come to visit YWAM Heidebeek! So it's worth it for sure! :-)

ta-da!

I considered changing blogs completely, because actually "kartvelley" is a Georgian word for a person of Georgian nationality (e.g. like "American"). Buuut, after careful consideration (or pure sloth), I've decided to keep it for now. It's a hassle anyways to re-inform everyone of the new address and blah blah blah. So, here I am. But now posting no longer from Tbilisi, but from The Netherlands. Heerde, to be exact. And YWAM Heidebeek to be more exact (probably I'll use the word Heidebeek frequently, so you can know what I'm talking about-- it's the base we work on).

We arrived a little over a week ago. It's a huge transition for sure. Let's make some comparisons:

# of full-time staff on YWAM base
Georgia: between 5 and 9
Heidebeek: between 80-100

# of years in operation
Georgia: 5 years
Heidebeek: like 30 years or something?!

# of DTS students in a year
Georgia: 4-9 students
Heidebeek: 60 students

Need I say more? :-)

We aren't working with DTS at the moment though. Because of all the adjustments we are going through, we are hanging out in the support ministries-- maintenance, hospitality, etc. for a while to recover and get rooted again. And after that... well, we'll see.

Okay, off to dinner.

transitions

Pretty much..... I'm in a whirlwind that's called: gettingmarriedtoabelgianandmakingalotofpaperworkandtakingresponsibilityfornecessarythingswhichmakessomepeoplenotveryhappy.

That's just part one!

SO much to get done-- but praise GOD, I've made it through some of the mess. Most of the paperwork for changing my name is done. Some other paperwork stuff to get taken care of. And the wedding? Well, probably I'm not half as organized as I should be. I just hope that it will all work out!

In the end, I'll be married-- right?

:-)

one year

Spring is amazing. I love being woken up by the blazing bright sun at 8:30am. Eating breakfast and drinking coffee leisurely in the sunlight as well. Pretty much spring sun just makes everything nice.

And today is also a nice day. The ONE year anniversary of being with Wim! (mushy mushy). No but seriously, I love that man. It's been an incredible year- good and hard things both- but I really love him. And I'm so grateful to God for love! It's a indescribably great experience.

Well, I guess I'm pretty optimistic today. :-)

a smell-alogue.

It's amazing you know. I've had chronic problems with my sinuses for 3+ years, which has led to losing my sense of smell. Losing, in some sense. It would come and go. Sometimes coming for a minute and leaving for months. And when I was lucky it was staying for like a week. But now again I have it back, it's been more than a week. And every morning I'm praising Jesus and pleading in my heart that it will stay and never leave again!

Imagine, not being able to smell... I mean, there are some benefits for sure. Cigarette smoke in restaurants didn't bother me (although I'm sure the 2nd hand smoke still killed me a little every time). Georgian toilets didn't phase me. My fiance never repelled me with body odor or bad breath. So, of course it wasn't 100% bad.

But also imagine, not being able to smell your shampoo when you're showering. Or your hot cup of coffee in the morning. Or food that you're cooking. Also not being able to smell if food has gone bad or if your clothes stink. I have the best friends ever, because over the years I've continually gone to them asking: "Does this smell okay?"-- with food... and my dirty clothes. ;-) Wim bought me perfume in January and I had never smelled it, until last week. It's such a sad feeling that everyone around you experiences something you can't.

But now that I CAN smell, I'm living in the glorious world of sensory 3-d and it's incredible! Every little smell excites me and I feel like I'm experiencing life for the first-time. Seriously, it's that dramatic. I rejoice when I smell the smoke from the woodstove, or the musty-ness of the metro, or even the body odor of my man. AND I can taste better too. For the first time I've really tasted my mouthwash, and even I realized I didn't like some food that I thought I had. Because my taste is also sensitized. IT'S AMAZING. Actually, in some way it almost feels worth it. To be deprived of something for so long and then have it back again, it makes that thing much more sweet.

Okay, I'm done talking about smelling. But seriously, sniff something you love and think what it would be like if you never smelled that again. Then maybe you can sympathize with me. ;-)

the world outside

I just know that God is alive and that Jesus is a willing shepherd and the Holy Spirit is a loving comforter. I know it. It's crazy though, in our world, to say that. I feel surrounded by big, gray, sky-high walls of unbelief and humanism. Everything setting itself up against the knowledge of God. But with God, I can rise above those walls and see the world that exists on the outside.

When I'm out in town, or around a lot of people, I just have this nagging feeling like I'm privileged. Not superior, just privileged. To see the world. To see life. Not just to stare at boring gray walls all day, every day. And I want all people to experience this privilege!!! There's so much freedom. And it's not just words-- it's true. It's real. And it's in Jesus. Not in money, religion, health, happiness, spirituality, holiness, goodness, understanding... no. Only in Jesus.

My heart cries for people to realize and believe.

a return

I'm kind of trying to avoid the whole line of, "wow... it's been so long since I've written something here"... but am feeling awkward to just jump right into a normal blog post.

I've heard that blogging decreases when you fall in love, and I'm a living testimony that it's true. I guess the main answer is: less time ?

Well, I'll take baby steps. Slowly slowly making an effort to ease back into the blogging world....

we're engaged!

Wim asked me to marry him on December 4th, 2010.... and I said, yes!

We're not sure about the date of the wedding yet (due to the extreme internationality of it all- he's Belgian, I'm American and we live in Georgia)... but will figure it out as soon as we can!

amaaaaaaaaaaaazing

So God has been providing for us in incredible ways this last week! And today was just the candle on top of the candle on top of the icing on top of the cake...

So, I brought one pair of shoes with me from Georgia- some dress boots. And I planned on buying some more winter ones while I was here. Well, I thought I'd have some time before it snowed to do that... but I was too late! It's already snowing in Eastern WA where we are heading on Monday. So, I planned to shop for some boots today, but ran out of time because we needed to meet some friends and then go speak at a home church.

Well, we went to the home church and had a great time. They let us speak for over an hour all about Georgia and what we do there. They were so interested with so many questions and it was so encouraging!


Then after we finished a man came up to me and this was the conversation:
(man): umm, what size of shoe do you wear?
(me): 38
(man): in American size...?
(me): oh yeah, umm... size 8.
(man): do you need some boots? I have 3 pairs of women's boots in the car, and one of them is size 8...
(me): (slightly in shock)... oh wow, yeah! I was wanting to buy some and didn't get the chance to today, so that would be really nice...!

The man brought the boots and get this: they were EXACTLY like the boots I was looking for!!! Plus they are perfectly my size and already water-proofed and everything. And he had no idea before that that I was even looking for shoes.

Is that not like incredibly amazing???????

And that's not to mention all the money that people have just randomly given us, gift cards and movie tickets... money for coats and shoes... really amazing stuff guys.

God is incredible.

His kindness leads us to repentance.

His kindness draws us towards Him.

Let's run.

Wim and I- new coats and new shoes and a huge deposit in the "trust fund" that God provides for His children!

SURPRISE!!!

Surprise... Wim and I are in America!!! :-)

in your arms

LYRICS:
in your arms, I don't need all the answers
in your arms, I find a place of peace
in your arms, when I reach into the chaos
you hold me close and say, "hush"
you hold me close and say, "hush"

in your arms, I find that I have value
in your arms, I know that I am free
in your arms, I feel that I am lovely
you hold me close and say, "love"
you hold me close and say, "love"

in your arms, the world it seems much different
in your arms, my vision it is changed
in your arms, I long to make a difference
you hold me close and say, "go"
you hold me close and say, "go"

well you have won my heart, my love
you have won me over
and you're the one I want, my love
you are my heart's desire

in your arms, I know that you are holy
in your arms, I know that you're unique
in your arms, I know that there's no other
who'll hold me close and say, "hush"
you hold me close and say, "hush"

well you have won my heart, my love
you have won me over
and you're the one I want, my love
you are my heart's desire

in your arms

more than this (live)

At the beginning of the month I was in Kiev, Ukraine for a 50 year jubilee celebration of Youth With a Mission. I had the opportunity to sing one of my songs with some of the musicians! It was really fun (and really quickly put together.. they learned the song and performed it in one day!)

P.S. Loren Cunningham liked my song! :-) hehe

LYRICS:
I don't want mere ideology
I won't want what we call reality
Or only what my eyes can see
I know there must be more
I don't want mere ideolgy
I don't want only what my eyes can see
I know there must be more than this
I know there must be more

And so I step outside and take a breath
Of something that is so much other than me
I cannot believe we all "just exist"
Oh-- what a purposeless life that would be
That would be

I don't want only what I can feel
I don't want only what my heart determines to be true and real
I know there must be more than this
I don't want only what my heart can feel
I don't want only what I can determine to be real and true
I know there must be more, be more than this

And so I step outside and take a breath
Of something so much other than me
I cannot believe we all "just exist"
Oh-- what a purposeless life that would be
That would be

I want Truth and all the light He brings
I want Love and all the freeing
I want Hope and all the joy
I want You and all You are

What a miracle it would be
To see that we are not only we
And what we see is not only what can be seen
What a miracle it would be
To see that we are not only we
And what we see is not only what can be seen

update

Wow, I've really neglected this whole blog thing...

Well, anyways... a small update on my life:

I'm going to America and Belgium with Wim! We have plane tickets and we leave in just a little less than 3 weeks. This time is going to be probably pretty amazing and also pretty challenging. But I'm really looking forward to it.

We'll talk about YWAM Georgia and missions, and we'll also get the chance to meet each other's family and friends and experience each other's homeland.

In the meantime, we're still busy with ministries and meetings... oh, the YWAM life. :-)

the end

I'm feeling God's blessing and inspiration these days. Many new things coming out of my heart into song.

"the end"



some think it's ironic
some think that it is cruel
some think it is pointless
but I think that it is true

some try to avoid it
some try to justify
some just plain ignore it
but to themselves they lie

that in the end
we'll have nothing in hand
when before
the great king we will stand
it will not depend
on our good or our bad
but only you
only on you
(Jesus)

some use their strength to gather
some use their skill to hoard
but will it really matter
how much wealth you've stored

some keep the best of company
some hold their heads up high
some think they're really lovely
but love they do deny

and in the end
we'll have nothing in hand
when before
the great king we will stand
it will not depend
on our good or our bad
but only on you
only on you

in the end
when before him we stand
it will not depend
on our good or our bad
not by what I have done
or by what I will do
only on you
only on you

not by what I have done
nor by what I can do
only by you

more than this

I don't want mere ideology
I won't want what we call reality
Or only what my eyes can see
I know there must be more
I don't want mere ideolgy
I don't want only what my eyes can see
I know there must be more than this
I know there must be more

And so I step outside and take a breath
Of something that is so much other than me
I cannot believe we all "just exist"
Oh-- what a purposeless life that would be
That would be

I don't want only what I can feel
I don't want only what my heart determines to be true and real
I know there must be more than this
I don't want only what my heart can feel
I don't want only what I can determine to be real and true
I know there must be more, be more than this

And so I step outside and take a breath
Of something so much other than me
I cannot believe we all "just exist"
Oh-- what a purposeless life that would be
That would be

I want Truth and all the light He brings
I want Love and all the freeing
I want Hope and all the joy
I want You and all You are

What a miracle it would be
To see that we are not only we
And what we see is not only what can be seen
What a miracle it would be
To see that we are not only we
And what we see is not only what can be seen

svaneti

Reflecting a bit on outreach, looking through some pictures.

Svaneti: 3 calves in a row

Svaneti: Mestia the capital
Svaneti: ancient watchtowers

Svaneti: village life makes you tough

Svaneti: our parting gift

a bit lost

I feel like I've forgotten how to communicate. I don't have the desire to write on this blog. I don't really even have the desire to write a newsletter. I think I feel sooo disconnected from "that" world (mostly America) that it's hard for me to try to reach out and connect it with the one I'm currently living in.

Plus I'm in the process of love, which distracts me to some extent. And also changes me. So then I feel a bit lost how to express myself in my new-ish state.

And plus plus, we're in kind of a lower period of ministry and activity in general. DTS is over for the year. Base leaders on furlough in America. Things not as structured as in the past. And somehow I feel like I don't have much to say.

But I know I have to.

And I know that it can be good and positive for the people who read it, and also for me as I write it. But I struggle to jump the hurdle now...

So speaking of feeling disconnected... REALLY I do. I was watching some youtube videos the other day, from the States and I felt so strange. As I was watching, the Americans seemed like foreigners to me. Seriously. I mean, I'm around some Americans here too, but mostly ones that have been out of America for a while, so they're kind of different. And I guess it makes me confused.

Lord, please help me to get my thoughts (and identity) straight.

stages

Well, again another nearly 6 months of my life has past. When I count, I've spent a total of 2 years in DTS (student&staff-hood). And my life is changed. Not necessarily by the teaching alone, although it helps to bring more knowledge and ideas and input and wisdom. But the practicality of it all. Living with a large amount of people. Having conflicts. Resolving them. Learning to love. To forgive. To cover sins with your love through forgiveness. To be of good character. To shut your mouth when necessary and/or for the benefit of another person. To see how God lives and moves and breathes in all of you and in your relationships. Amazing.

And also, I'm like totally absolutely in love. And I love this man named Wim. It's amazing to see how God is working and developing our relationship. The first time I met him was in Holland and this is also when he told me he was interested in me. So we were together for 3 weeks. Then separated for 3 months. Then together for 2 1/2 months. Again separated for 9 weeks. Now finally we're together again. And it's beautiful. And I can see through all of this how God is bringing us through stages, together and individually. Preparing, working, growing, teaching. And it's a beautiful process. To learn to love and to be loved. Oh, so grateful.

I just, love my life. Thank you God for this breath and this heartbeat.

food mom

Somehow I think my life has begun to revolve around making food... is this the life of a mom? So, speaking of food... I made pizza today! While we were making bread. On the woodstove. Yesss. With my assistant, Christine (the DTS student from Ephrata). She's quite the prodigy!

hey, i'm a human

I'm making bread on my free day. And lunch, and dinner. When we were in town, we just bought eggs or something and the students made their food when they wanted. Now, we're in a village and that's not possible.

At first I was a little tempted to be grumpy and somehow justify myself by showing the world how unfair it was that I had to do this stuff on my one and only free day. But then I realized...

this is real life.

And I got over it.

Now I'm actually kind of excited that I CAN make bread and be home-makery and all that kind of stuff. And that I can be a blessing to my team (or as I call them with all love and sincerity, "my chickens") by filling their tummies with delicious food.

This is just a little glimpse into my life as a real, live human being.